User blog:Wassboss/A Spytacular Show-Down: The Spy (TF2) vs James Bond.
This battle almost never saw the light of day but after scrapping, reinstating and scrapping the battle several times it has finally made it. With that little tidbit out of the way we can move onto a battle between two secret agents with a womanising side. But behind their charming facade lies the cold heart of a professional killer and when these two meet on the battlefield it will be a silent but bloody affair. So lock up you daughters (and probably your mothers as well) as; The Spy: The mother-loving, French double-agent whose a connoisseur of sharp suits and even sharper knives takes on. James Bond: Martini drinking womaniser working for MI6, whose shaken and stirred his fair share of bad guys. Who is Deadliest The Spy T'he Spy' is the master of stealth in Team Fortress 2, helping gather intelligence and stab the backs of the opposing team. A Frenchman, The Spy is very charismatic, sarcastic, and most of all, romantic Often isolating himself from the rest of his team, the Spy is more comfortable around the other colour, using his Disguise Kit as well as his Invisibility watch to try and fool the less wise. However, the Spy doesn't aim to just sneak in on the other team for intelligence; he has the ability to instantly kill most people with a swift stab to the back. |-|Main = Revolver Range: 68 Metres Calibre: .357 Magnum Ammo: 6 rounds |-|Secondary = The Ambassador Range: 50 Metres Calibre: .357 Magnum Ammo: 6 rounds |-|Melee = Butterfly Knife Weight: 4 oz Length: 11 inches Double Sided |-|Watch = Invisibility Watch One of the Spy's main assets in battle is his Watch, which allows him to become invisible for short periods of time, roughly about 10-15 seconds. It also allows him to move silently as well, making sneaking up on enemies all the easier. The Spy cannot attack while cloaked and must de-cloak in order to attack an enemy. De-cloaking makes a whooshing sound when activated and takes roughly 2 seconds to fully de-cloak, the same goes for cloaking. |-|Special = Disguise Kit The Spy's other gadget is the Disguise Kit which allows him to disguise himself as an opposing team member, allowing him to infiltrate an enemy base undetected. His disguise is only dropped if he attacks an opponent, either through knifing or shooting. For this battle, the Spy will be able to disguise himself as either Bond himself or as one of his Secret Agent teammates. James Bond James Bond '''is, without a doubt, one of the greatest espionage agents in the world. Bond works for MI6, the counter-intelligence branch of the British Secret Service. Although little is known about his personal history, he has performed special-ops missions across the planet, fighting against everyone from dictators and rogue agents to large-scale terrorist organizations and would-be world conquerors. Although he might seem a detached playboy at first glance, Bond is a trained killer, and is fully prepared for any task his country asks of him. |-|Main = '''Walther PPK Range: 50 Metres Calibre: .32 ACP Ammo: 8 rounds |-|Secondary = Smith & Wesson M&P Range: 50 Metres Calibre: 9x19mm Parabellum Ammo: 8 rounds |-|Melee = Fairbairn-Skyes Dagger Weight: 8 oz Length: 11.5 inches Single Sided |-|Watch = Wrist Dart Gun One of Bond's many watch based gadgets, the Wrist Dart gun is, as the name suggests, a dart gun disguised as a wrist watch which is activated by the users nerve impulses. It fires both armour piercing and cyanide-coated darts and has a range of about 5-6 feet. |-|Special = Cigarette Rocket This gadget is given to Bond by Tiger and is a miniature launcher, capable of firing a jet powered projectile. The effective range is roughly 30 yards and it's power is more than enough to kill a person if it gets a direct hit. X Factors Stealth: The Spy=89/Bond=87 Both of these warriors are very skilled assassins and can easily sneak through crowded enemy bases without being detected and eliminating their targets silently and efficiently. What gives The Spy the edge though is his Invisibility Watch and Disguise Kit which allow him more options to ambush his enemies and makes him even harder to detect. Experience: The Spy=80/Bond=92 While The Spy does spend the vast majority of his time fighting against other mercenaries, they are always the same 9 types and so he doesn't get much variety with his opponents. Bond on the other hand has faced dictators, rogue spies, terrorists and even superhuman fighter such as Jaws and as such has a much greater variety in his experience. Training: The Spy=75/Bond=90 Bond has received a great deal of training due to his position as an Secret agent and has received training in espionage, assassination, marksmanship, martial arts and stealth as well as physical training to improve his physique. The Spy's training has never really be touched upon and it's unknown whether he is self taught or has been trained by an external force but his skill with firearms and blades has presumably been learnt somewhere. Precision: The Spy=86/Bond=86 As both The Spy and Bond require silence and undetectability to complete their missions, both have to be precise with their blows/shots in order to take down an opponent without drawing attention to themselves. Both are crack shots with a pistol and are able to to hit moving opponents in the head without much difficulty and both are skilled close quarters combatants, knowing exactly where to strike in order to achieve maximum damage, either to kill or incapacitate an opponent. Voting Sytem/Notes The James Bond in this battle is sort of an amalgamation of all Bonds not one specifically. This battle will be a 4 on 4 with James Bond and 3 other agents vs The Spy and 3 other spies. All will be armed with there respective pistols and melee weapons but only Bond and The Spy will have access to their watches and special weapons. The battle takes place in a military base and both sets of warriors have been sent to acquire secret documents. The base is still being used by the military and will have armed soldiers about, meaning that the warriors will have to avoid detection from them as well as eliminating each other. In order to be counted in full, votes must be at least 5 lines long or have been done in an edge format. Anything less than 5 lines but which is competently argued and thought out will be counted as a half vote. I will inform anybody if their vote is considered a half vote and allow them to amend it to bring it up to a full point. Irrelevant votes will not be counted at all. I reserve the right to award a vote as half or discount it entirely for reason not mentioned here if I feel it is applicable. Battle The Spy: James Bond: The vast wilderness of Siberia is the perfect place to have a military base it seems. Previously used by the Soviets for top secret and dubious missions it was abandoned after the breakup of the USSR. Or at least it was until five years ago when the Russians recommissioned it as tensions with the rest of the world has risen. Deep within the compound a Russian trooper goes about his regular patrol of the interior. Just as he’s finishing his route a man dressed in a tuxedo rounds the corner. The guard immediately raises his gun; nobody is supposed to be down here except for him or one of the other guards on duty. “Стоп! (Stop!)” he barks and the man does as he says. “Кто, черт возьми, ты? (Who the hell are you)” he asks. “I’m Agent 007 of Her Majesty’s Secret Service. I’m here to collect something for a, shall we say colleague of mine, and unfortunately you’re standing in my way”. The guard doesn’t understand a word of what the man is saying but he can tell he’s bad news. Before he can do anything however he feels a strong grip around his neck and he is dragged to the floor. He struggles, thrashing his legs around but it’s in vain and he soon lies unconscious on the floor. “Good work 008” Bond says as the agent drags the guard into a nearby storage cupboard. The two other MI6 agents join Bond and together the quartet continues their infiltration into the base. Luckily they manage to avoid any further guards and as they enter a small conference room, Bond stops and turns to the other agents. “This is where it becomes tricky gentlemen. Through this next door is the most important part of this base. The Russians have a briefcase stored in there which has highly secret information relating to various weapon prototypes they’ve been working on. It is our job to retrieve that information. 008 I need you to get into the control room and see if you can find out the code for the briefcase room. I’ll be collecting the briefcase, once I get to the room I’ll radio through to you to get the code. Understood?” 008 nods his head. “009 I’ll need you to keep watch here just in case anyone tries to come through here. 0010, I want you to patrol the inner perimeter and keep an eye on any guards or other personnel and let me know if any are heading my way. Does everyone understand?” The other agents all nod in agreement. “Well then,” Bond continues drawing his Walther “Let’s go!” ---- After half an hour of searching, Bond finally comes across the briefcase room. Checking around to make sure there is nobody about he holds his wrist up to his mouth and whispers into the radio. “008, have you got the code?” No response. “Repeat, 008 do you have the code?” Again nothing. “008 respond immediately.” Bond taps the device with his finger but it appears to be working fine. He gets a sinking feeling in the pit of his gut and nervously backtracks back to where he saw 008 enter the control room... ---- 009 paces the floor of the conference room. He’s heard footsteps walk past the door but as of yet nobody has actually come into the conference room. He looks down for a second to check his handgun and he looks back up just as a man walks through the door. Without hesitating 009 shoots him twice in the chest and the man slumps back against the wall . He walks over to the body and is surprised to find the man is not dressed in the Russian army uniform or even in the lab coats of the scientists; he’s wearing a blue suit and has a blue ski mask covering his face. Out of curiosity 009 searches the man and in the breast pocket he finds a folded up picture. Unfolding it he looks on in shock at a picture of a briefcase, the exact brief case they are here to retrieve. “Why would he have a picture of this? Unless...” 009 realises that this man is here to steal the briefcase just like they are. “And I doubt he came alone.” The agent hurries off to warn Bond. ---- Bond nudges open the door of the control room and scans it pistol raised. He sees 008 sitting in a seat by one of the control panels, looking down at something. He hurries over to him. “Why the hell aren’t you responding to your radio?” he hisses but doesn’t get a response. “008, answer me.” However as he gets closer it becomes apparent why he hasn’t been responding. He’s not looking down at something, his head is slumped over and his throat has been slit . “That is not good” mutters Bond and just at that moment he catches movement out of the corner of his eye. He swings his pistol around but it is knocked out of his hand before he can shoot and a blade flashes past his hand. It nicks his finger and draws blood and Bond takes a step back as a man holding a butterfly knife advances on him. Bond draws his own dagger and prepares to fight. ---- 009 hurries through the corridors, occasionally having to duck into a room to avoid a passing patrol. As he passes a particular door he hears quite a commotion coming from inside. Gently pressing the door open he sees two men fighting within. He recognises one immediately as Bond and he swings his knife at the assailant who twists out of the way and responds with a nasty uppercut which knocks Bond to the ground. 009 is quick to react and bursts through, downing the attacker with a precise headshot. He rushes over to his fellow MI6 colleague and reaches out his hand to help him up but is waved away. “I came to warn you 007, we’re not the only ones here to steal the briefcase, and I’ve just had to kill another one back in the conference room.” He glances over at the dead attacker and is surprised to see that it is none other than 0010. “What the hell is going on here?” he says confused and turns to find himself staring down the barrel of a pistol, a grinning ski-masked face behind that. “Merci Beaucoup” says the Spy as he pulls the trigger. ---- Meanwhile back in the control room Bond and another spy are locked into vicious combat with Bond makes use of his longer blade to keep his assailant from getting too close. Without warning the spy lunges forward and catches him off guard, making him trip over his own feet. Pinning him down the spy tries to stab him with his butterfly knife with Bond desperately trying to keep the blade at bay but despite his best efforts the knife is being pressed closer and closer to his jugular. Suddenly remembering his watch he activates the firing mechanism and a dart shoots out and right into the spy’s eye, killing him instantly. Bond pushes the body off of him and dusts himself down. “Looks like you’ve got something in your eye” he says coolly. Just as he is about to leave he notices a piece of paper scrunched up in 008’s hand with a four digit code written on it. Bond smiles. “Thanks 008” he says, showing respect to his former comrade. Hurrying back to the briefcase room he punches in the code and enters. Inside sits a large desk with a bright orange briefcase lying on top of it. Bond snaps open the straps and looks on in satisfaction at the documents within, with blueprints for weapons whose destructive capabilities are beyond what he can ever imagine. “I think zat belongs to me.” Bond freezes. “Turn around slowly,” the voice continues and he does as instructed. “Now pass me ze briefcase.” Bond tosses the briefcase to the man and he bends down to pick it up, not for a moment taking his eyes, or the revolver he has pointed at him for that matter, off Bond. “Before you kill me, could I ask that I have one last cigarette?” he asks. “I don’t see ze harm in zat” Bond carefully takes out his cigarette holder and takes one out, striking a match with his other hand. He lights it and takes a long drag. As he lowers the cigarette from his mouth a rocket flies out of the lit end and hits the spy right in the chest, leaving behind a smoking smouldering crater. Bond casually strolls over and picks up the briefcase. “Haven’t you heard? Smoking kills,” he says smugly and is about to walk out of the room when another man in a lab coat enters the room. ” Что это? Кто ты? Что вы делаете...(What is this? Who are you? What are you doing wi-)" the Russian begins but Bond clubs him over the head with the briefcase. “I’d better get out of here before he wakes up,” Bond says stepping over the unconscious scientist. Making his way back through the winding corridors of the inner compound he finds himself back at the conference room. But as he enters the room he finds that he is not alone... “Well, well, well what do we have here?” The Spy says as he takes a drag on his cigar. “It looks like zees documents are more valuable that I thought. And who exactly might you be?” “The name’s Bond. James Bond. And these documents are far too important for someone like you to get their hands on.” “Oh no, zees are not for me, Monsieur Bond. I am merely a mercenary for hire and my employer is very interested in the contents of zat briefcase there.” “Well I’m afraid I can’t let that happen,” says Bond drawing his revolver and levelling at the Spy “These are only for the eyes of Her Majesty’s Secret Service.” The Spy chuckles. “I had a feeling you might say zat.” He flicks the cigar onto the floor. “Very well then, let us dance.” With that the Spy disappears and Bond fires off several shots but they only leave a hole in the wall behind. Dropping his now empty revolver he draws his dagger and readies himself for an attack. After a few seconds he wonders if the Spy has just run off when he hears a loud whooshing noise coming from behind. He swings round and rakes the dagger across the Spy’s suit, tearing it and catching him off guard. He quickly composes himself however and flicks his butterfly knife at him but it is blocked so he follows it up with an elbow which rocks Bond’s head back. Advancing on him he jabs forward with his knife and catches him in the shoulder. Hissing in pain Bond swipes with his own dagger and it whistles past the Spy’s throat and is enough to make him back up a bit. “I didn’t expect you to be zis good with a knife,” the Spy says impressed. Suddenly a siren rings out, piercing the tense silence between the two. “Oh dear, it would seem our little theft has not gone unnoticed.” The sound of heavy footsteps echoes in the corridor. Bond tries to escape back out into the main portion of the compound but hears footsteps coming that way as well. “Well it looks like it’s time for me to make my escape. Au revoir Mon ami.” And with that the Spy disappears just as a squad of Russian troopers burst into the room from either side. “Не двигайтесь! Попасть на землю! (Don’t move! Get on the ground!),” one of the troopers shouts and Bond obliges, putting his hands behind his head and kneeling on the ground. He glances over at where he put the briefcase down but it is nowhere to be seen. One of the troopers handcuffs him and they lead him away to an interrogation room. ---- 2 Days Later Sitting in a carriage on the Trans-Siberian Railway the Spy sips from a glass of Cognac as the wilderness flashes by the window. The man sat opposite him is reading a newspaper and the Spy glances over and recognises the face of James Bond on the front cover. The headline reads; RUSSIA EXECUTES BRITISH SPY: Relations between Russia and Great Britain thrown into turmoil after the death of a MI6 agent. ' The Spy smiles to himself and rests his hand on the briefcase lying on the seat next to him. “Mieux vaut toi que moi mon ami ''(Better you than me my friend)” '''Winner: The Spy Final Verdict While both were tied in terms of firearms what enabled the Spy to win was his more useful gadgets in the Invisibility Watch and Disguise Kit. Bond's gadgets were very situational and had less practical useage especially in the scenario where the Spy's stealth based gadgets helped him avoid detection. Category:Blog posts